Anonymous said: What if, instead of hiding her under the hospital, Regina gave Belle curse memories and sent her over the town line? Lacey French isn't sure why she doesn't age, but she'd rather not be the scientific curiosity of the century, so she keeps a low profile. Then her neighbor's dad gets stabbed in the lobby by a hook-handed freak, and she finds herself on a pirate ship bound for Storybrooke Maine, where the town drunk, the florist, and Neal Cassidy's (kind of hot) dad keep calling her Belle.
((Ooh, interesting! Let’s see now… Okay, firstly, I’m actually pretty sure Belle would age, so Lacey’s in her fifties here. Y’know, just like Robert Carlyle. Secondly, this is a very big idea, so I’m distilling it down to the action bits. Thirdly, I haven’t written Lacey before, so, y’know, hopefully this works for people. Thanks for the fascinating prompt, Anon!))
Sooner or later, Lacey is going to snap out of this. She’s going to wake up behind O’Reilly’s, dust herself off, swear she’ll never touch another drop of whatever it was Sam poured her last night, and everything will go back to normal. She squeezes her eyes shut for a long moment. When she takes a peek, she’s still on board what can only be described as a pirate ship. Captain Hook’s pirate ship, or so the swarthy one-handed man in black claimed. Once again, Lacey checks the corners of the room for hidden cameras.
Anonymous said: Congratulations on 200 followers--I'm surprised you don't have more, tbh. If you're still taking prompts, I've got a couple, if not, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna love whatever you write. What would've happened if Belle kissed Rumple goodbye when he sent her to town for straw?
((Thanks, Anon! And hey, I’m finally getting to write a bit of a thing I’ve wanted to write for years. So, that’s cool.))
Rumpelstiltskin has seen queens sit with less poise and dignity than Belle does, perched fearlessly on his table, answering his silly questions. He’s never met anyone like her, not in all his lonely years. He can almost believe when she talks about love and its layers that there might be a chance that she thinks she’d find it under his layers. What a terrifying thought, his mind remarks with vague giddy panic.
WTF? But then she realises that she can send Gaston back home with messages to her father reassuring him of her well-being and she goes back to the Dark Castle, right?
Ah, no, not really. As far as I can tell, a few months later Rumpelstiltskin has to go to the Marshlands because of reasons and it’s really awkward and painful with him and Belle pretending they’re not in love with each other, and maybe they end up alone in the garden by the sea and he gives her Humphrey Bogart’s “hill of beans” speech and everything’s still awkward and painful and maybe that’s why I haven’t ever written it in 2+ years of shipping.
Look, just listen to this if you want the next part.
amazing that there are living humans out there who have chosen to label other groups of people “justice warriors” and align themselves as directly opposed to them. opposed to justice. look in the mirror. tell yourself “i hate justice”. do you feel like a batman villain yet.
— Flannery O’Connor, Wise Blood (via abominibble)
don’t say you’re a writer if you just write fanfiction for your entertainment. you’re only a writer if you kill a bear with a typewriter to appease the spirit of hemingway and slather yourself in ink in tribute to shakespeare, the one true over-penis of literature.